San Jose's Gay Community Self-Segregates Along Lines of Race
Despite the multi-ethnic demographics of the city, San Jose's gay community seems divided among lines of race. One young commentator compares the San Jose gay scene compared to the rest of the Bay Area.
When I was growing up in Walnut Creek, Calif., the community is usually either white or Asian with specks of Black and Latino. I’m Black and my best friends were Filipino and white. Of course it's easier to hang out with your own race, but easy isn’t fun. I hung out with everyone that I could relate to on one platform or another.
When I realized I was gay, I started to go to gay-oriented youth groups that brought together all backgrounds with the same understanding. Race again didn’t matter. If anything did matter, it was our individual struggles with our sexuality that brought us together in such a way that bonded us. Everyone knew everyone. Better yet, everyone accepted everyone. The smaller community within the community was mixed, mingling, and very open. When I say a smaller community, I'm not just talking about Walnut Creek or Concord. I’m talking about ALL of the 925 area code.
When I moved to San Jose about five years ago for college, I was ready for change, city lights, and expected the same open armed welcome that I had been accustomed to. But I found it odd that the only welcome arms I saw were the ones the same color as mine. For a couple of years, trying to not be the odd man out, I silently conformed. When I asked my friend if he saw San Jose’s gay community as being divided, he quickly admitted that it is. He laid out the rules, “The Asians hang out with Asians; the Latinos are glued to the Latinos; the whites are clicked up with the whites, and the blacks are the same.”
Whenever I’d go to the Brix or Crave in San Jose, which are described as the popular gay clubs for the younger generation, it seemed like each race intentionally segregated themselves. I’ve never seen anything like it really. Each group takes up a section of the club. The only mix is when you get to the bar, and that's only because seating is random and people are just trying to get more drinks.
When I was younger and used to go to a club called Cribs in San Francisco, the vibe was way more relaxed, and people weren’t afraid to talk to people. I danced with all different kinds of girls and boys. It was fun knowing that I was free. In the San Jose community, I feel way more confined and restricted to talk to a certain group of people.
I’ve been in situations where I was only accepted by a group of Hispanic girls because someone pretty much had to vouch for me. Because I was brought in by one of their “own” was the only reason my presence was validated.
I think there are a lot of things that are lost by sticking to your own race, perhaps particularly so in the gay community here in San Jose. There is enough of a sense of separation and isolation that the gay community deals with, and no need to bring more fragmentation on ourselves. At the end of the day, relationships should not be based on race, but on a mutual commonality regarding likes and dislikes.
I wish that San Jose could be as free and open as other parts of the Bay Area’s gay community. I know that things won’t change overnight. But I think in order to begin change, the acknowledgment that there is a problem that needs solving is the first step.
Kasha Covington is a writer and musician for Silicon Valley De-Bug.
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Comments
I would have to disagree with this assessment of San Jose's gay community. If you only went to bars, this analysis / observation could be true. As someone who knows a lot of people in San Jose, I can say that being a mixed Chinese-Native-American, that I don't have much problem meeting people of all ethnicities.
There are a myriad of gay groups. We have the Rainbow Rec which is a very mixed Asian-American and Euro-American. If you walk with the San Jose Front Runners and Wheelers, there is a very mixed crowd with Latinos, Asian-Americans, and Euro-Americans.
If you go to the Billy DeFrank LGBT Center, there is also a very mixed group of attendees. Checking out the Tipsy Tuesdays, and the Liquid Therapy events, the groups are definitely mixed. As for the South Bay Queer and Asian group, it is a decidedly Asian experience, but still there are Euro-American men.
However, San Jose doesn't seem to have a lot of African-Americans. I'm not sure why. The Vietnamese are a huge part of the population, and they do seem to segregate themselves in terms of bars, but they are active in other social scenes.
I would have to say I don't know much about the lesbian scene, but as for the gay / bi men scene, that there is a lot of interaction.
And, if you look at Gay Pride, it's got everyone in the rainbow. And, there are various groups who run this event. If you also look at the Silicon Valley AIDS Walk, you get gays and heteros who attend and lots of students. If you're a professional like I am, there is the Rainbow Chamber of Commerce. This is a mix of people, genders, and sexual orientations.
As for private parties, I have never had a problem getting invitations to any events that I'm interested in. I can't speak for everyone, but in my own experience, I find San Jose's social scene to be very open and friendly. I am not a native and have lived here since 1996.
The last observation that I have is that the native San Joseans do seem to stay home in their own cliques. What the makeup of these groups is, I don't know. I do feel that there are tons of gays who stay home and rarely go out to the bars. My own roommates, who are married, do not go to bars unless I drag them there.
It has been my experience in trying to organize queer mexicano youth through MAIZ that San Jose, that the gay community as much as it has grown in the last 5 years, is still learning to build community amongst its own BEYOND the social space (i.e. clubs, house parties, etc, at some basic levels i.e. racial, ethnic, language and/or nationality lines. San Jose, unlike SF or the East Bay has not learned the story from an economic and historical perspective.SF claimed long ago not just socially but POLITICALLY a space for themselves i.e. the castro district and/or other spaces i.e. en la mission, etc which over time makes it a little bit easier "to be gay" for newer generations, (and i mean a lil bit because of course, its not easy being gay). folks at lgbtq youth space/billy de frank are doing good things, but there are other communities that have not been tapped into that of class/language/racial/migrant status/non or low education differences. They are harder to tap into (again beyond the social environment) and take longer to build with and have plenty of reason to segregate not because they want to but because they have to. we definitely need leadership in the queer community to start building those bridges and and can link the connections on a gay experience AND other ways. its definitely not black and white conversation. and at the end sokmetimes its the music that segregates, folks just like different music and "segraget by music" too lol
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